DDLG Lifestyle

It saw her, and it decided to take something that didn’t belong to it. “It” took our peace.So precious, so beautiful, no amount of gold, gems or money could ever replace her loss. It took more than just her body. It took from her heart, her identify, her soul; and as a result, it took from all of us. Everyone who held a little piece of her gorgeous inner bold beautiful confident character. It robbed us all. Nobody deserves that. Death wouldn’t suffice as payment with the heinous act it committed. Scum like it, doesn’t deserve to have a name. Calling it a “Pig” would be offensive to such a sweet and innocent animal. It raped her against her will, it overpowered her with the most disgraceful of acts. It took from her. It will pay. In this world and in eternity it will pay.

As for us? We will heal. As her protector, her Dominant, her caregiver, we will do everything in our power to make sure it will live the rest of its life paying dues with no final payment achievable. I already know who it is. I found it. Justice will be served. I don’t do it out of hate, spite, anger or anything that will cause a burden of shame upon me in years to come. “It” isn’t worth my time. Instead I will use that time to reconstruct, rebuild, protect, instruct, love, cater and if need be, give my life for her safety. I already know it will pay; I’m not concerned about that. We wont allow “it” to control our lives. We’ve already made an incredible amount of progress. We have been able to bond and share far more than we ever did. We are a lot more comfortable sharing deeper experiences and emotions. We are more comfortable crying and holding each other. We still struggle with nightmares and sleeping.

In the beginning it was worse. She saw “it” in every person, every car that passed by resembled that car, everyone was a suspect. At restaurants, she would choose the far corner table so she can see everyone coming in and out. She walked around nervously and always looking at her shoulder. The thumps, the creaks at night, sudden noise would startle her with anxiety to a level of numbness in her fingers and arms, and then? tThe panic! She’d cry throughout the day; being in crowded spaces was always a trigger. That energy was absorbed by all of us; felt powerless, weak, useless at times. I too had nightmares of chasing it and unable to catch it. But now that I know who it is, and I’ve done what’s necessary to seek the righteousness through justice, we will persevere. I still hold her at night close and tight. When she gasps for air in the middle of her screams? I ruffle her fluffy hair, to reassure her of my presence and settle her back in peace.

Even though the act will never be forgotten? It will not power over us. We will use that horrific circumstance as a reminder of our strength and what we’ve overcome to be where we stand. Strong, level-headed. Maybe more cautious, still just as protective. Still double checking all doors are locked, windows closed shut. Making sure there’s no monsters under the bed before we give her cuddles. But for now, I’ll sleep better knowing it can no longer terrorize the streets. Making sure predators like it become the prey. We stand strong in our love. You’re not alone. You’re a survivor.